MommyCamp2013 that wasn't

It's been a full week off of facebook. The first day was strange since I had removed the app from my phone, hence wasn't receiving any messages, chats or notifications. As the week went by, I realized that anyone that truly has a presence in my life would communicate with me via other forms of "archaic" communication. Facebook is truly a waste of time, and although there are some positives, I pretty much want off. I feel like the world got sucked into this vortex of "unreality," where there is one world portrayed that is vastly different than the actual real world. - if that makes sense.

This summer, I wish I could say that I'm giving my kids a fun summer. Fun is definitely not the word that comes to mind when I'm stuck on the couch with my feet up praying that contractions would soon stop, and that my leg and torso pain would quietly sneak itself into some cave for a few days. I wanted so badly to stick to my weekly plan, trips, exciting in-home activities and fun, fun, fun.

However, over shabbos I got to thinking. Contrary to other times, I am able to see how things are just not working out. I spoke to my oldest about him going to camp, and how I can't give him the summer he deserves, and he agreed that he should go to camp (rewind a few months, and said child adamantly opposed the idea of camp- "camp- who needs camp when we have mommy camp", he said.

I am now able to admit when something is just not working. Thank g-d it is for good things though- in 14 weeks time please G-d, there will be another addition to this lively group of kids, and although pregnancy and the miracle of a child growing within is a beautiful thing, sometimes the "side effects" are nothing close to beautiful and affect every minute of the day.

Here is the not-so-good-list:

1. Crazy pressure all the time from carrying low to begin with, along with it being child #6- my body is saying it has had enough

2. School starts  next Wednesday and for the first time, I really am freaking out. Employment Law and intercultural management are two of the hardest classes in my school, along with a final report and final the week of yomkippur. How to juggle all the kids and still reserve 3-4 hours of energy at the end of the day for college world? I dunno. I' have managed till now, but things are HARD now.

3. Not being able to exercise as much as I wanted to. My doctor says that the main thing now is to keep the baby in as long as possible, and to "lie on the couch" and "put my feet up." virtually impossible with kids, but I do try.

The GOOD list:

1. I decluttered the play-room. Felt great to chuck old broken toys, dried-out markers, pens and expired other toys and assorted STUFF.

2. Got together with some great friends for nice occasions, and really enjoyed myself. Life is good.
3. Hubby is finishing the last final touches of the kitchen, and working tirelessly in relocating my laundry on the second floor from the basement for my birthday!
4. Enjoying watching my kids raise and nurture a baby mockingbird that is our new sort-of-pet. It needs feeding every 10 minutes!